Reflection on Self Respect

 

"He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce."

  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow~

 

I find it amazing that people, in general, succumb to criticism by others.  I have always subscribed to the thought that, if what I say and do is based on my principles and my sense of right, I should not let the words of others make me feel guilty.

Too often those who may disagree with us or want to control us, condemn our thoughts, words and actions.  A few good examples would be: Politics, religion, preferences in music and literature, our manner of dress, the way we wear our hair and our personal preferences as regards life style.

I am and always have been an advocate of freedom of choice.  All of us should have the freedom to decide which direction our life travels will follow.  I resent someone else telling me that I am wrong because I have not made the same choices that they have.  If I choose to wear my hair short when society has decided that the fashion is long, so be it.  It is my choice.  If I choose not to be Christian when the bulk of society deems that to be “right”, I should not be ostracized.  If I choose to wear long skirts when society goes for minis, so what?

I was brought up to believe that, if I could look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed and could respect the person staring back at me, then I was living with self respect.  No one else looks in our particular mirror, so no one else has the right to tell us the choices to make. 

Just a reflection…..

Reflection on The Bigger Plan

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. “             ~Joseph Campbell~

  
                                                      

Have you ever thought that you had your life all planned out?  You know where you want to be and what you want to be doing at every phase of your life according to that plan?

I’m sure there are many people right now who are saying, “What has happened to my plan?”  There are those who have been working at the same job for most of their lives who have suddenly found themselves without that job.  They have no idea what to do.

Now is the time to do the things they may have wanted to do when first starting their adult lives.  I’ve seen a taxi driver who worked on Wall Street.  He loves his new job which lets him interact with more people than when he was shut up in an office all day.  People are finding the courage to start a new endeavor doing something they have always wanted to do.  More and more people are being forced to give up their “planned” life and plunge into the unknown.  Who knows, perhaps through these troubled times more people will find the happiness they have been searching for.  A happiness that comes from doing something you love rather than doing something that pays very well but leaves you unfulfilled.


Here is a beautiful thought by Margaret Young:

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: They try to HAVE more things or in order 

to DO more of what they want, so they will be HAPPIER.

               The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first BE who you really are,

                                               then DO what you need to do,

                                             in order to HAVE what you want.

Don’t be afraid of starting the life that is waiting for you.

Technorati Tags: planning,job,life,courage,tough times

Reflection on the Fear of Making Mistakes

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.
~Elbert Hubbard~

Have you failed to apply for a job because you think maybe you can’t do it?  Have you failed to run a race for fear you won’t finish?  Have you failed to try a new food because you’re afraid you won’t like it?

I’ve known people who were paralyzed in making decisions for fear it would be the “wrong” one.   I’ve known people who were afraid to ask for something or someone because they might hear the word “no”.

How many of us have missed opportunity when it has knocked at our door because we’ve been afraid to open that door and walk through, not knowing what was on the other side?

I have always believed that making a decision, even if it may turn out wrong, is better than not making a decision at all.  If I make a mistake, I analyze why so that it becomes a learning experience, not a failure.  I also know that, if we don’t ask, we’ll never receive anything, be it information, love, a job, a friend or whatever.  Better to ask and be told “no” than to go through life never knowing what the answer would have been.

To me it is more important to control one’s own life, to make one’s own choices, than to allow something called “fear” do it.

Technorati Tags: fear,mistakes,control,life,decisions

Reflections on Responsibility

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.  You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president.  You realize that you control your own destiny.”

~Albert Ellis~

I was taught responsibility at an early age. While in Junior High, a friend of mine became pregnant.  I was very confused, because at the time it was not “socially acceptable” for a teen to be pregnant.  I asked my father what I should do.  His answer to me was “Is she your friend?  If she is then you be her friend.  What has happened to her doesn’t change who she is.”  He taught me in that simple conversation that, we control how we think and what we do.

I have made it a point in my life to take responsibility for my actions.  There have been occurrences in my life which could have made me a “victim” if I had allowed it.  I didn’t.  I have made mistakes in my personal and professional life.  These I freely admitted because I know that mistakes are how we learn.  I can say that I have never made the same mistake twice.

In this particular time in history, it seems to be the norm to play the “blame game”.  There are some things in life that happen and quite often they are no one individual’s fault.  Why is it that people have such a difficult time accepting this and, then, taking responsibility for the future?  Are we not teaching our children that if they steal a cookie it is their action, not the action of the cookie jar, their parent or teacher or someone else?

I will probably continue this discussion at a later date, but for now it is just a reflection of …

 

Technorati Tags: responsibility,mistakes,future

Reflection on Live & Let Live

My personal philosophy is one of “live & let live” as long as one does no harm to another.  I don’t care what another person’s religious affiliation may be, what their political bent is or what their personal life style is, any more than I care what their favorite book, food or movie is. Variety is what keeps life interesting.  So anything I may write here is my personal opinion, preference or thoughts and are not meant to offend anyone.

I am constantly “bemused” by the world today and the preoccupation with changing anyone or anything that might be considered different.  I am a bit of a news junkie and, even though I tell myself I am going to stop watching, reading and listening to what passes as “news” today, I find myself right back at the trough drinking my fill.

I come away wondering what in the world is going on.  How can people kill other people because their religious beliefs differ?  How can people kill others because they feel “left out”?  How can one hate another because their lifestyle is different?

All of my life I have had friends of different races, religions, lifestyles and educational levels.  I have learned something from all of them.